Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
