fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Holy shit dude........stairs
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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