ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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