THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
