Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
