Well apparently he's into motor boating.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
