dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
