Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize