you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
