we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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