Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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