one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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