Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize