they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
