Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
