the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
