ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just come out here and I will go home with you...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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