It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
