where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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