The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wish you could order shots online.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
