I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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