Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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