I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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