I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
