I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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