today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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