Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
