im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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