sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
