Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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