I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
