apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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