i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
