I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Holy sore nipples Batman
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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