Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I could fuck to npr.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
