...so i touched it.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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