im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
