shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
the liver wants what the liver wants
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
