Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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