Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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