Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
