The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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