We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
