Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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