I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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