Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
