I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
