I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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