It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
