i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize